Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
