forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
