he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
