were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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