i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
