bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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