none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
