soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
