I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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