there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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