I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
