i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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