She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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