Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
