i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I look better un-naked...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
