Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
