Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
