I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
how can u be prego again
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
