normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
