If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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