Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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