I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
