Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
