He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
