My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
