k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He felt like a one man threesome
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
