i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Randomize
