I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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