Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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