She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize