That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
