He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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