You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
