i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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