He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
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