Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
