I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
