He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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