it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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