but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
