i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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