she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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