eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize