Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
being pregnant is like rehab
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
