My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
