if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
