sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
