i don't like sucking hair
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
