There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
