im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He keeps bees of course he's weird
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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