I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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