I'm passing your future prison.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
