North Korea, Best Korea!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
