come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Rumble strips road head = magical
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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