we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
