Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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