help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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