I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize