Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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