He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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