oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
